Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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