dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
