don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize