i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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