too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
