I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
