So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
that's an acceptable place to lick
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
