I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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