Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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