how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
