It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
