hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
