kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
