I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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