Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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