I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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