I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
