she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
