Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
