When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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