she was so not down for the gang bang
accomplished twins. life is a go
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize