but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
