I just pynch a tree in the face
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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