My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
