he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
