The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
