if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
