Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
