Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im holly from the hills drunk
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
