After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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