I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
