i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
