i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
