im drinking this country out of the recession.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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