oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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