ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize