why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
