OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
