Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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