Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
