He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
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