Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize