Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
