Please, let me fuck your mom
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
