that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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