you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
