I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
