is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
