im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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