I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
