Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
