WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My vagina is very pro this idea
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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