it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Even my vagina gasped.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize