i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sponge bath it is.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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