Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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