I smell stomach acid.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
