There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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