dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
