I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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