I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
