Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
