Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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