We're facebook friends in real life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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