The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
