Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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