no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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