I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
