Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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